A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course...

Unless that horse is a stick horse. Then an unusual sport arises.

Photo: Technogym

The Olympics stem from an ancient tradition starting in Olympia, Greece in 776 B.C. during a festival honoring the god Zeus. It consisted of one competition. What began as a way to put city-state differences aside, at least for a short period, grew into the modern Olympics we have today. Back then it began with one foot race, then other events were added over time showing male athletes’ strength. The most brutal competition was similar to cage fighting without the cage. Men fought each other, the only rules being that they couldn’t gouge their opponent’s eyes out nor could they bite. Otherwise, everything else was fair play. The fact that men were naked during all of these events means…OUCH!

Once Christianity came to Greece, there were centuries when the games were considered pagan and were canceled for centuries. Finally, the games returned in the 1800s and more events were introduced, as well as an official Olympic flag. Each interlocking ring on the official flag stands for the five inhabited continents. The colors used represent the colors used on all countries flags on a white background. Thus, even the United States’ red, white, and blue flag is represented.

As we know, the United States love competition. At family parties, corn hole is a favorite. Go to a bar and you may see bocce ball or axe throwing. Beach volleyball is a great pastime on summer days. But most recently the pickleball craze took over. Though it was originally invented in the 1960s, the sport found a new generation to see its merits. There are twenty-one leagues in Chicago alone. For those that have never seen a game played, it is like an enlarged table tennis  game played in pairs. Though pickleball has a loyal following and is considered the fastest growing sport, sadly, it will not be played in the Olympics anytime soon.

To be an Olympic approved sport, it has to have international significance/popularity, be a part of an approved International Olympic Committee (IOC) International Federation(IF), the IOC must receive the sports’ application seven years in advance of approval, OR the country hosting the Olympics can add a sport. Even then it has to be approved by the IOC.

Equestrian events are the only Olympic events using an animal, and the only sport where women and men compete equally. There have been recent changes to the amount of participants allowed, but according to the Associate Press’ “No room for error with new Olympic team show jumping event,” this change makes the sport easier to understand and allows for “more countries that can be represented among the individual riders.”

It is truly a skilled equestrian who can control a one ton horse’s grace and power. The seamlessness of the relationship between rider and horse is truly a beautiful sight. But a relatively new “equestrian” sport is a rising star in Finland and is starting to branch out internationally. Those that participate are attempting to get this sport recognized by the Olympic Committee in order to be included at the 2024 Paris Olympics.

Hobbyhorsing competitions are gaining traction. Yes, hobby horses like the ones you remember from when you were a child. What began an an underground hobby for enthusiasts—usually young women ranging in age from 10-20—became a bonafide sport with competitions held each year in Finland. There was even a 2017 documentary about this hobby called Hobbyhorse Revolution, which focuses not just on the hobby itself but three teens’ connections to this Finnish phenomenon.

And I sacrificed some precious down time to watch this documentary for you, my adoring fans. You can thank me later.

What struck me most was that the young women were using hobbyhorsing as a way to deal with their parents’ divorce, anxiety, or bullying. They found their own community of fellow hobby horsers who had an equal passion for dressage and jumping. Hobbyhorsing became a form of escapism.

The benefits are that the sport doesn’t require a great deal of space nor does it require expensive equipment. As long as you have fabric, sewing skills, creativity, and a broom stick you’re good. The Finnish girls who started this hobby/sport take it very seriously. Though most realize their horses are not real, they still use equestrian terms. Those that create the hobby horse heads are “breeders” who decide the name and gender of the horse. If a competitor collects many hobby horses, they put them together in a “stable,” which could just be their closet.

Participants diligently practice like they are part of a true equestrian event using their human bodies as a horse’s body. They canter, trot, piaffe, and half pass just as a horse would do in dressage events. “Riders” are scored according to their abilities to not only perform these dressage movements but also on their erect posture and how they hold the reins. There are also jumping events, which require speed and hurdling prowess.

Because this is becoming an international hobby/sport having spread from Finland across Scandinavia while also gaining popularity in Australia and the United States, the push to get Olympic recognition would be the cherry on top. However, Tryon International in North Carolina markets this hobby as a fun, free event in the summer for kids ranging from preschool to adulthood. It’s treated as more of a family-friendly experience than an actual sport. So, I’m not sure that the Olympics will have hobbyhorsing in 2024.

Then there is the question of what is a sport. The Oxford Dictionary defines a sport as “an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.” Cheerleading being considered a sport is still hotly debated even though gymnastics is part of the cheerleaders’ repertoire. There is no Olympic cheerleading event.

Does hobbyhorsing follow Oxford Dictionary’s definition? Watch the YouTube clip below and decide for yourself.

If this clip didn’t make you instantly recall Monte Python and the Holy Grail, you are comedically uncultured! Once again the things we found hilarious in the past are becoming reality in the present.

Personally, I’m thrilled that girls (as well as a few boys) are preferring to be outside rather than sitting in front of a computer screen, but hobbyhorsing is quite unusual— to say the least.

The reason it is even being considered as a contender for the Olympics is because it originated in Finland. The IOC’s mission statement lists 18 points, many of which are about worldwide inclusion and popularity of a sport. At the Tokyo games, for example, there were new sports approved like karate and sport climbing. For the Paris Olympics, breakdancing will be a competition.

Basically, the Olympics is adding “sports” that they think will grow an audience and are ever mindful of adding sports that are from all countries and/or are female centered. Number 8 on the list of mission statements says that the Olympic Committee seeks “ to encourage and support the promotion of women in sport at all levels and in all structures with a view to implementing the principle of equality of men and women.” This is fine with me. But before taking on hobbyhorsing, the IOC should do some research. Some of these young women are a bit cuckoo.

If you watch Hobbyhorse Revolution or read Bego Antón’s Teen Vogue article “The Fantastical Hobbyhorse Universe in Finland Is Captured in ‘The Gallop,’” some of the young females involved have major issues, which should be addressed by mental health workers.

For example, one girl named Ainu treats stick horses as if they are real, each with their own personalities. As the article states, “Ainu takes her horses out of the stable every day and feed them. In winter she makes sure they are warm putting a blanket on them. Many girls make their own accessories such as bridles or blankets, and they have a different one for each of their horses.” Several say this is imaginative. I say this is creepy. If a toddler talks to a stuffed toy as if it is real, that’s normal. But by the time you are a teen, talking to and caring for inanimate objects is a problem.

Moreover, in the documentary Hobbyhorse Revolution, teenage Mariam cries as she takes the unstuffed hobby horse head and puts it in a shoebox labeled R.I.P. She began spending more time with human friends and didn’t have the motivation to continue riding. She posts on her social media account, “Heda was getting old. Her legs had casts, her movements restricted. She was worn and tired. I got Heda as a baby. My tiny loose cotton wad—who made me cry and laugh, to face my fears. She listened quietly. She’s in a better place now.”

Umm…

I’m sure you are wondering where the parents fit into this. After all, some of the girls are too young to drive themselves to competitions. In the documentary, Alisa admits that it took a while for her parents to get on board. They thought of this as a childish game. But over time, they saw a confidence grow in their daughter.

As the best of the best grow older, they become coaches. Between social media, coaching, and the creation of horse heads for profit, they can make a good amount of money.

Only time will tell if this hobby/sport will get Olympic recognition. In the meantime, girls and boys of all ages can learn a great deal about horses without actually having to own one. Overall, enthusiasts learn graceful movements and are active. As long as parents keep a watchful eye on the mental state of their kids, there could be worse things teens could be doing. But there is no doubt that our threshold of normalcy and maturity is diminishing.

I think I’d rather watch naked men fight with virtually no restrictions.